Make Me Beautiful

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     Once again I find myself sitting outside surrounded by the red dirt, dusty air, and wonderful people of Kenya. Our team of sixteen flew into Nairobi a little over a week ago, and then made the 3 hour car ride Kenyan time (which translates into about 5 hours) to the small town of Kibwezi.
      Everything is exactly as I remember. The town still bustles with shopkeepers and vehicles. The Muslim prayer still rings out from the mosque at 5 o'clock every morning to rouse me from my sleep. The food is still delicious. The people are just as friendly and the children are just as precious.
      Despite many unpredicted difficulties, complications, and disappointments, the second I step foot in Africa, I can't be worried or the least bit unhappy anymore. The feeling is one that's difficult to describe. Just being here.
      I feel so alive, so real, so at home; like the past year I have been waiting, not in a bad way, just patiently. Waiting to return. And now I'm here.
     I can hear. I can see. I can think. I can breathe again. My soul feels absolutely content, and my heart fully satisfied. There is just so much to love about being here. My feet are always dirty. My hair is never perfect. My outfits never match. All of it...it's beautiful.
      Beauty is an odd thing. We have defined it in a way in which we miss out on everything it was intended to be. Beauty isn't found in magazines or the beaches of California. On the plane ride, in my overabundance of time, I watched a couple movies, and something I heard from one of them stuck with me:
“ Beautiful things don't ask for attention.”
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
      I love this quote because I think it is so simple but so true. Beautiful things don't ask for attention. They don't need to. And perhaps this lack of hunger for attention is a mark of beauty in and of itself. Yet we have diminished beauty into a compilation of clothes, makeup, and charisma.
I confess, I want to be considered outwardly beautiful as much as any other girl. But I know that to be beautiful, I mean really breathtaking, gorgeous, and captivating, an extra hour in front of the mirror won't get me anywhere. Why?
      Because the most beautiful hands are calloused from dedicated work. The most beautiful feet are coated in sand and dirt. The most beautiful eyes are the ones that have seen hurt, and hurt, too. The most beautiful heart is not one that can pick up any number of admirers along the road, but the one that captures the heart of a God-loving man forever.
      Beauty is so much more than skin deep.
      Lord, show me true beauty and help me to cultivate it in my own life. Let me return home a more beautiful young woman, physically, mentally, and emotionally. From the inside out, make me totally new. Make me beautiful. 

 

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